Crazy

July 19 2012. Thursday.

Today, my stress level hits a new record. Anymore of these, and I'll probably become crazy. I may need to talk to someone.

For the past week, my dad has been selling off whatever worth money in his grabs. He sold his iPhone4, his Hifi set, my mom's crystal collections and God knows what else he sold.

He he touch my manga collections or my PS3. He is dead.

But back to the topic. Seems like he really owe a lot of money to people all over the place. I just hope that there aren't any loansharks in his list.

I don't know how he can be such a failure of a human. It's just... just so pitiful.

His own child is pitying him.

I've given up all hopes on him.

I just need that final push to be completely crazy. What shall be my trigger?

Unluckiest Person

4th July. 2012.

I've been bottling thing up for quite awhile now. Today it reaches a new limit.

Dad borrowed $550 from me this afternoon. In total, he owes me $750.
Sure, you might say, "he's your Dad, and it's only money, why so calculative?"

Exactly because he's my Dad. Right now, I'm feeling jealous of everyone else.

Who has it worse than me? I'm already partly paying for the house, now you want me to feed him too!? Damnit. I hadn't even completed my studies. Now I'm not even sure if I could continue studying.

Who else had to suffer because of the lack of money since secondary school? I'm sure there's a lot in this world. But what about my world? I don't see any of my friends having money trouble.

And because of the complications of the HDB scheme, and his ignorance, even after he died, I still need to finish the payment of the house. I can't even wish him dead.

I remember a news report saying a guy around my age died of exhaustion. I feel you bro. I really do. If I took a second job. I'd probably be the next.

I keep on thinking to myself,"You're not the only one. Some others had it tougher than you."

I might be right, I might be wrong. But this current crisis of mine contains too much problems for me to handle. Running away seems so much easier.

I really wish I could end it all right here. Right now.