Before EOY update 2012

Saturday. December 29. 2 am.

Just finished work not long ago. Decided to write down what happened past few day.

Friday morning. I had my first wet dream. =x. I was having sex with my own version of Poison Ivy. WTF? I couldn't really believe. But yea, my first wet dream was with a girl, not a guy.

And a little update from both my jobs. Life in IBM is still the same. Probably earning Noh's trust more and more. Life in Wawawa is slightly more exciting.

Lately, it seems like Shane had beginning to put more trust on me. But as they say, "With more power comes with more responsibilities", I'm beginning to get real busy there too.

I had thought that Shane was angry at me the other day for giving staff discount without seeking her approval, and little little stuffs that happens all the time. When I checked the schedule for next week, I was not given any days to work! I freaked out and thought that Shane had finally got sick of me. Turns out later she told Genno to teach me bar-tending the week after next.

Sigh. Women. Can't understand them.

Over and out! Happy New Year!

Unexpected Coincidence

Tuesday. 27th November.

As usual, cleaning up after others. Today, had to help David who went back for reservist.

Had to help him replace and clone a HDD at DBS Toa Payoh... And over there, I met a new trainee. Cute, cheerful... My type. I was thinking that I'd probably have a crush on this new girl.

After we exchanged info on ourselves after she said I looked familiar, we found out that we went to TGS 3 years back. "OH!" And we chatted excitedly after we remembered each other.


Hahaha, to think that I still have a crush on KW after all these years. Maybe I should ask her out.

Mid-November Update

Tuesday. 13th November. 2012.

It's been a while since he got discharge from the hospital. But it still seems like he didn't want to change his habit. Got caught smoking once, and refuse to listen to others' advice.

It's not my problem anyway.

I still have my own problems to take care of.

For my IBM side, taking care of others' shit for free. Probably gonna get blamed for this as well.
And for my Wawawa side, things seems to be going smoothly. Probably getting more recognised as the most "senior" part time staff there.

Well I'll see how things goes. If I managed to survive till now, I can survive for another 25 years.

Day 3 of Holiday Week

Wednesday. 17th October 2012

Third Day. Birthday. Worst Day.

Woke up in the morning to prepare for my journey in the East. Ate the birthday meesuah cooked by Mom. Thanks Mom. Then I set off at around 9.15.

Passed by East Coast, to Changi Beach, had a short break at TCS, and resume going past Pasir Ris and finally to Tampines.

Upon reaching there, helped Julyn to pass a few of her share of flyers. And we went off for lunch at Texas Chicken.

After that, went home, rested and played a bit of KH3D. Waited for the time to pass to meet my secondary school friends.

Meet WQ and PX at TCC at 7. Been so long since I met them. Thank you guys for remembering my birthday. I'm really touched. Had dinner. About to order cake for each of us, I received a call from my Dad and Mom, separately.

Seems like Dad's got a more serious stroke. Now he can't move left side of his body.

I don't know what's the right word to use here: "Serve you right?" "You reap what you sow?".

Damn! I was so happy enjoying my holidays, and you have to ruin it now. Fuck you.

Did all the admin stuffs for him, and told him what to expect. I refuse to worry about him. It's just no worth it. Not worth the time and energy. Screw him.

End of Day 3.

Day 2 of Holiday Week

Tuesday. 16th October 2012

Second day.

Was supposed to spend the morning at Ger's house, but since he'll only reach home in the afternoon, I postponed the plan to Thursday.

So I spent my afternoon at Orchard instead. Since Wawawa colleagues and I are meeting at 3.

Went Kinokuniya to collect a manga, ended up buying a few more manga and comics. After that went for lunch at KFC. And since there's time left, and I wanted to buy a 3DS XL, and I suddenly thought of Qisahn, I went there to take a look around. That look cost me 400+. Bought the XL, KH 3D, and Black 2.

Then I went Bugis to meet with Alan and the others. Anna, Julyn and WJ. We watch Premium Rush first, at 3+. That movie is cool. Freaking cool. The way Joseph did the simple bike stunts made me almost want to learn them. And I liked the way how the story plays out. Starting in the first person's POV, then the second's POV, then the third. And slowly linked together to form the ending. I like that.
4.5 / 5 stars.

After the movie we went to Bugis Junction B1 for some light bites. Then we rushed for our second movie. Taken 2. Well, the story is well-played out, but I felt that it was predictable. Bad guy takes revenge. Good guy fight against bad guy. Good guy wins. That's it. The action was pretty good, but the script sucks.
2 / 5 stars.

We went to Yayoiken for dinner, and then to Honeymoon for desserts. Nice place, both of them. Went home after that with Julyn and WJ. I spent the rest of the ride home with WJ after we both alighted at Bedok. I felt so happy when I see her. Not sure if I really like her, or I just want a girlfriend.

I should be sleeping soon. Tomorrow is another long day!

End of Day 2.

Day 1 of Holiday week

Monday. 15th October 2012

First day of my holidays.

Went "Western Adventure Park Connector Network Walking Trail" following the guide from the National Park's website. Spent the whole after walking/trekking. Whew. Sweated my ass off. Been such a long time since I felt this way.

The forest and quarry views along the way is simply breath-taking. I wish I could have uploaded the photos now.

After ending the trip at Bukit Gomak, I called TR and tried to meet him for dinner. He agreed, and I went to NTU. Upon arriving there, he showed me around the schools and we had dinner.

Walking around there made me realized how much I missed school. And how different my life might have been if I didn't had any money problems.

At around 8 plus, I was too tired to crash TR's lecture, I decide to go back first, not before going to the hill top that TR told me about.

That night view of the Jurong Islands and other HDBs are breath-taking too. All the orange lights everywhere in the darkness, just like stars on the ground. Whew. Wow.

I probably should sleep soon, and prepare for the Wawawa collegues outing tomorrow afternoon.

End of Day 1.

Birthday Week

Sunday. 14 October. 2012.

I usually liked to wish other October babies a "Happy Birthday".
But I'm going to use the excuse of me being too busy to wish them this year.

Because if I don't mean it, I probably shouldn't say it.

Coming Monday I'm going to enjoy myself to the max. Enjoy myself all the way to Friday.

Lemme see my schedule. Tuesday will be going to Ger's house. Tuesday night will be going out to Bugis with Wawawa collegues. Wednesday night will be going out dinner with WQ at Clarke Quay.

I planned on going Bukit Batok, cycling around east of Singapore: Bedok->East Coast->Changi->Pasir Ris->Tampines->Bedok. Punggol Park probably too. And maybe the whole Central Catchment Area.

Plan plan plan....

Guess I'll decide everything tomorrow. After I wakes up.

Finally time for me to relax. =)

Utter disappoinment

Monday October 8. 2012

Today is supposed to be my father's b'day.
I had to work today too.

I actually planned on at least messaging him a birthday greeting.

As soon as I had my phone out, I received a sms from my sister.

"Your father bought iphone 5 sia"

Talk about devil's luck.

That's it. I had totally lost hope in him. Just because he thought he had a new job paying $3k, he had to buy it!?

At age 50+, he still spends money as he liked. He just don't get how we need the money now.

At least pay up for the HDB first, bastard!

I'm seriously pissed.

That's it. I've totally given up hope on him. He just destroyed whatever chances he might have.

"Ever had that urging feeling to destroy something?
To burn stuffs up?
To set the world on fire?"

I'm losing whatever sanity, whatever self-control I have leftover.

May God have mercy on everyone. Because I can't be when I go crazy.

Experiences

26th September. 2012

Experience.
You can't touch it.
You can't see it.
But once you had it, you knew what to do.
It's something more like a memory.
A memory of the body.
A memory of the mind.

I believe I've gotten lots of experience from different points in my life. But how much of that is contributed to my maturity as a human?

Last Saturday, I had supper with Gerald. I told him we need at least a week off life before doing any big decisions.
A week of doing some serious thinking.
Some soul searching.
To learn more about yourself.
To know what you want.
TO know who you are.

For him, because he is going to finish serving his NS. And he's a bit confused on where to go next.

For me, I'd like to be free during my birthday week.
I'd like to go exploring.
To learn about new places.
To learn more about myself.

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The other day, I was sick of not knowing how much we still had to pay the HDB for the house loan, I used my father's ID and logon to the site... To find out that the outstanding loan is 99k. Plus 3k overdue.

Fuck this shit. The original loan is only 200k. You paid less than 100k for 20 years!?
Less than 50k for 10 years!? Less than 5k each year!? That's about 400 per month!

Damn it. What were you doing with the money!?

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The other day, my NS friends and I were chatting in whatsapp. They suggested a gathering. WF immediately said October 17. I'm surprised, happy, and touched that he remembers my birthday.
Thank you WF.

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Let's just hope that I can earn enough for me to continue studying.

Over and out.

I'm not the only one

Wednesday. 5th September. 2012.

A few days ago, Thursday to be exact, I worked with 2 other colleagues at Marina Bay Financial Centre. It's quite an atas place. Expensive food, expensive people everywhere.

But that's not the topic today. The topic is about one of my colleagues I was working with. Jin.

He told us that he was working as a waiter in Furama hotel. The way he spoke seems like it's a normal thing for him to have a part time job. He explained that it was for his University's fees.

I respect him to be able to laugh it off. To be strong enough to pull it like nobody's business. We are in similar situation, but he is able to shrug it off, and here, I'm cursing like a bitch.

I felt bad about myself. I could be earning much more than him now.

Heh. I should really stop feeling bad about myself, and climb out of this shit hole, giving everything that I got!

Post National Day

Friday. August 10. 2012.

Stress Level: Moderate.

Blogging while waiting for my hair to dry after bathing.
Let's back date to August 9. National Day.

Spent whole day resting at home. Started second day of work at the bistro along Bedok Reservoir. Wawawa.

Nice place. $6/h. Enough extra income for me.

I've come to an understanding with myself. A call 2 weeks ago to the samaritans helps. That guy I talked to help me figured out a lot of things I didn't want to admit. Or say.

I've given up hope on my Dad. Life is unfair to me. Fucking unfair.

And to end on a happy note, I've managed to run KH on my Mac with PS3 controller. And a  BloodAce chalet on Friday and Saturday.

Cheers.

Crazy

July 19 2012. Thursday.

Today, my stress level hits a new record. Anymore of these, and I'll probably become crazy. I may need to talk to someone.

For the past week, my dad has been selling off whatever worth money in his grabs. He sold his iPhone4, his Hifi set, my mom's crystal collections and God knows what else he sold.

He he touch my manga collections or my PS3. He is dead.

But back to the topic. Seems like he really owe a lot of money to people all over the place. I just hope that there aren't any loansharks in his list.

I don't know how he can be such a failure of a human. It's just... just so pitiful.

His own child is pitying him.

I've given up all hopes on him.

I just need that final push to be completely crazy. What shall be my trigger?

Unluckiest Person

4th July. 2012.

I've been bottling thing up for quite awhile now. Today it reaches a new limit.

Dad borrowed $550 from me this afternoon. In total, he owes me $750.
Sure, you might say, "he's your Dad, and it's only money, why so calculative?"

Exactly because he's my Dad. Right now, I'm feeling jealous of everyone else.

Who has it worse than me? I'm already partly paying for the house, now you want me to feed him too!? Damnit. I hadn't even completed my studies. Now I'm not even sure if I could continue studying.

Who else had to suffer because of the lack of money since secondary school? I'm sure there's a lot in this world. But what about my world? I don't see any of my friends having money trouble.

And because of the complications of the HDB scheme, and his ignorance, even after he died, I still need to finish the payment of the house. I can't even wish him dead.

I remember a news report saying a guy around my age died of exhaustion. I feel you bro. I really do. If I took a second job. I'd probably be the next.

I keep on thinking to myself,"You're not the only one. Some others had it tougher than you."

I might be right, I might be wrong. But this current crisis of mine contains too much problems for me to handle. Running away seems so much easier.

I really wish I could end it all right here. Right now.

Point of view

Monday. 21 May 2012.

So today I was working with Noh and David in Suntec, and we were having lunch at KFC.

Noh was chatting about his oncoming holiday in the Middle East and the Dead Sea. He talked about the Sea was the result of God's punishment on the homosexual ancient people. And how he was surprised that Obama passed the same-sex marriage law in USA. He then talked about it's not right for gays to marry etc etc.

Now here comes the ironic part.

I may be sexually confused right now, but I DO have homosexual aunts married and living happily. And I can't even imagine the face he'd put IF I tell him I'm gay, or I have gay relatives. That'd probably shut him up for good.

Another thing I'm still deciding about is my studies. I WANT to study, but 21k is very steep. I probably do not need to fret about the housing loan. But 4k per semester? How should I plan this? Is bank loan the only way for me?

Or should I just quit spending and rot in front of my computer. For 2 years.

March and April Summary

April 29, 2012.

An update on what happened during March and April.

1. Shits.
2. Lost my wallet.
3. More shits.
4. My Dad had a "young stroke".
5. More and more shits.
6. Work related shits.
7. My Dad decided to spend more money selling his lorry and buying another old double-cabin pickup.
8. He refuse to quit drinking.
9. More work related shits.
10.All my aunts from Malaysia came to scold the shit out of Dad.
11.They went back yesterday. Didn't work.
12.Almost lost my DS yesterday.
13.End of 2 shitty months.

That's basically almost everything. Now to find out which bank loans has the lowest interest rate for me to study Kaplan.

Lost wallet

Friday. 10th March. 2012.

I lost my wallet at Tampines Mall Timezone yesterday.

Fuck, I shouldn't have took it out of my bag. I shouldn't have took it out of my pocket while sitting down. I should have remember to take it with my while leaving.

I must had broke my record of saying "Fuck" in one day, yesterday.

Seriously, Fuck.

Are there no more good-willed people in the world anymore!?

And I've to thank my friends who kindheartedly treated me dinner and supper.

Thank you very much, WF, WX, ZY, Jason, and Gerald.

Thank you very much, guy.

Now to hope that some kindhearted person will return me my wallet. With or without money I don't care.

In Camp Training

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Hehe, it's been awhile since I last updated, yea?

Anyway, I'm having my ICT now, from Feb 13 to March 1. High Key, 3 weeks.

It's nice being able to go back and visit all the old friends, even though it's been only a few months. But it'll probably be nicer if I'm back with my team instead. Right now, I'm with half of team Romeo. A few pioneers and a few other from other teams. I'm the only one from team Uniform in NSMEN TEAM 11.

But meh, it doesn't really affect me. Since I'm usually on my own anyway. Then again, at least I've my own place in Uniform.

Another thing to note, I don't really consider myself a 'leader' type. But I noticed that whenever there isn't a suitable leader in a group, I'll take charge. Maybe that's just my style. I hate being unorganized.

Works great, been learning lotsa new stuffs. And I still need to register myself into a class in SIM.

Hell, how would I handle the stress? How would I handle the time? It used to be full-time study and part-time work. Now it's full-time work and part-time study.

Can I work myself to the fullest?

Over and out.