Sunday. March 27, 2011.
I have grown weak. Both mentally and physically. I believe it's either the lack of training, lack of discipline, lack of food, lack of sleep, or all of the above.
I actually felt shagged after running a bit more than 2.4km in 20 min.
I wasn't this weak a few months back. The recent events must have tired me out.
I believe it's time for my training again. Training of the mind.
Cold shower work best.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Day at Kallang Leisure Park
Saturday. March 19. Beautiful Full Moon.
When Kallang Leisure Park with WT, JS, JH and Clare.
Today's itinerary is: Lunch -> Movie -> Ice Skating -> Dinner -> Slack.
We watched Red Riding Hood. This movie seriously sucks. To the core.
The suspense, the climax, all is at the wrong place. The good point is probably the unexpected ending. Turned out that her Dad is the werewolf, and turned her boyfriend into werewolf too while both of them is trying to kill her Dad. And at the end, the boyfriend came back to Hoodie to stay forever and ever with her. Her fiance became a replacement for Father Solomon after he got killed by the werewolf. Two out of five stars.
Ice skating is horrible. But it's the good kind of horrible. =/ Learning about new stuff is definitely fun. At least I learned a bit on how to skate. Ice skate. And accidentally banging into little children, girls, and guys is embarrassing. I mean, even little kids can skate better than me. =( But I'll believe every fall that I make, I learned a bit more on the hard way. I'll be able to skate smoothly sooner or later. The only thing I hate, is getting my pants wet, gloves wet, and my wrist hurt. Dammit.
Dinner was at Pastamania. Had the usual Mushroom Bake Rice. After dinner was slacking off at Starbucks. 5 guys and 2 cups of Vanilla Latte. One Venti, one Grande.
2 iTouch, 1 iPhone, 1 NDSL. Stayed there till 9 plus watching each other play games. Yawn.
AND I SPENT ABOUT $50 TODAY!!!!! OMGOMGOMG. I really should go out lesser with them.
Over and out. =)
When Kallang Leisure Park with WT, JS, JH and Clare.
Today's itinerary is: Lunch -> Movie -> Ice Skating -> Dinner -> Slack.
We watched Red Riding Hood. This movie seriously sucks. To the core.
The suspense, the climax, all is at the wrong place. The good point is probably the unexpected ending. Turned out that her Dad is the werewolf, and turned her boyfriend into werewolf too while both of them is trying to kill her Dad. And at the end, the boyfriend came back to Hoodie to stay forever and ever with her. Her fiance became a replacement for Father Solomon after he got killed by the werewolf. Two out of five stars.
Ice skating is horrible. But it's the good kind of horrible. =/ Learning about new stuff is definitely fun. At least I learned a bit on how to skate. Ice skate. And accidentally banging into little children, girls, and guys is embarrassing. I mean, even little kids can skate better than me. =( But I'll believe every fall that I make, I learned a bit more on the hard way. I'll be able to skate smoothly sooner or later. The only thing I hate, is getting my pants wet, gloves wet, and my wrist hurt. Dammit.
Dinner was at Pastamania. Had the usual Mushroom Bake Rice. After dinner was slacking off at Starbucks. 5 guys and 2 cups of Vanilla Latte. One Venti, one Grande.
2 iTouch, 1 iPhone, 1 NDSL. Stayed there till 9 plus watching each other play games. Yawn.
AND I SPENT ABOUT $50 TODAY!!!!! OMGOMGOMG. I really should go out lesser with them.
Over and out. =)
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Dark Clouds
March 5th 2011. Saturday.
Went out with Jonan, JS, Clar, and WT today.
Had lunch at Subway, watched Adjustment Bureau, dinner at Yuki Yaki.
My whole day is like dark clouds that refuses to rain. Grayest gray that I've ever felt.
Each kissing scenes in the movie reminds me of him. Each hugging scenes. And the last breakup scene.
I'm feeling queasy all over.
Went out with Jonan, JS, Clar, and WT today.
Had lunch at Subway, watched Adjustment Bureau, dinner at Yuki Yaki.
My whole day is like dark clouds that refuses to rain. Grayest gray that I've ever felt.
Each kissing scenes in the movie reminds me of him. Each hugging scenes. And the last breakup scene.
I'm feeling queasy all over.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Heartless
Saturday. 5th March. 2011
It was a 2 hours phone call. His last words were "don't call me".
And I couldn't even force a tear to come out.
I'm too screwed up. I really shouldn't have asked him to be my bf. Now there isn't any chance of being bff.
He said I know what love is. Maybe I really do. But these 3 days doesn't seems to prove anything.
Maybe I don't want a relationship with no endings. Maybe I just want to rush into a relationship. And I really hurt him.
I didn't want to hurt anyone. But I guess it's a bit difficult for a heartless to be able to break without.
I'm really sorry. I didn't think that it would turn out this way.
I am sorry.
It was a 2 hours phone call. His last words were "don't call me".
And I couldn't even force a tear to come out.
I'm too screwed up. I really shouldn't have asked him to be my bf. Now there isn't any chance of being bff.
He said I know what love is. Maybe I really do. But these 3 days doesn't seems to prove anything.
Maybe I don't want a relationship with no endings. Maybe I just want to rush into a relationship. And I really hurt him.
I didn't want to hurt anyone. But I guess it's a bit difficult for a heartless to be able to break without.
I'm really sorry. I didn't think that it would turn out this way.
I am sorry.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
The Truth
Tuesday, 010311.
I've told him what I thought. I didn't think he'll ask so soon. I wanted to wait at least the first month is over.
所谓长痛不如短痛
So I told him the truth.
Fuck it. It's all my fault. My fault for asking him first. My fault for making him fall so hard for me. My fault for testing out my own feelings. My fault for being so selfish.
He told me how I'd changed him. And now he'll turn back to before after this.
I shouldn't have used him to test my feelings for guys. I didn't wanted it to end this way. I'm probably the stupidest person in this world. In this universe. He keeps on showering his love on me, yet I can't ever reciprocate a bit.
I knew I wasn't normal. I didn't know it was till this extend.
I tried not to promise him anything, because I'm uncertain myself. Replying to him with a "I try". But it still ended up this way.
AAARRRRGGGG..... WHY AM I LIKE THIS? WHY CAN'T I EVEN TELL HOW I FEEL? HAVE I REALLY LOST ALL FEELINGS?
Then what is this urge to cry?
Why can't I cry even when I wanted to?
Why is it that hard for me to know my true feelings?
Fuck. Maybe I'll never have the courage to fall in love again.
Oh wait, how can I if I still do not understand what love is? *sarcasm.
I've told him what I thought. I didn't think he'll ask so soon. I wanted to wait at least the first month is over.
所谓长痛不如短痛
So I told him the truth.
Fuck it. It's all my fault. My fault for asking him first. My fault for making him fall so hard for me. My fault for testing out my own feelings. My fault for being so selfish.
He told me how I'd changed him. And now he'll turn back to before after this.
I shouldn't have used him to test my feelings for guys. I didn't wanted it to end this way. I'm probably the stupidest person in this world. In this universe. He keeps on showering his love on me, yet I can't ever reciprocate a bit.
I knew I wasn't normal. I didn't know it was till this extend.
I tried not to promise him anything, because I'm uncertain myself. Replying to him with a "I try". But it still ended up this way.
AAARRRRGGGG..... WHY AM I LIKE THIS? WHY CAN'T I EVEN TELL HOW I FEEL? HAVE I REALLY LOST ALL FEELINGS?
Then what is this urge to cry?
Why can't I cry even when I wanted to?
Why is it that hard for me to know my true feelings?
Fuck. Maybe I'll never have the courage to fall in love again.
Oh wait, how can I if I still do not understand what love is? *sarcasm.
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