My Screwed up self

Saturday. December 5th 2009.

3 more days to my POP. Finally.

The rankings of platoon best etc is out. So obviously I'm not one of the first. I'm so not fit at all.

Anyway, yesterday night, before we all book out, Sgt Milo was talking to some of us. He said he can almost tell where most of us will be going after looking at the rankings. Seems like Charis will be going SISPEC Charlie. Rome will be going to MP. Salim will be going to OCS. Same for Mike, Alvin, MJ. Berry will be going to SISPEC too.

Sgt Milo didn't say, and I didn't ask. If I'm sitting right in front of him, and he choose not to tell me, something must be up.

Anyway. That's when I found out that I'm not as kind and friendly as I thought.

Yea, I knew I have split personality, but not this bad. I felt jealously, hatred, anger, sadness, disappointment.

I knew I'm not that good with others, I knew I'm not really that well liked. But to the extend of people not recognising my effort!?

Maybe that's why I've decided that I don't like most humans. Scew everything man. POP in 3 days. 24km in 3 days.

I know I can complete it. I just have to complete it. And I will complete it.

Till POP.