July 22nd. 2014.
Cloudy evening.
My relationship with him has been declining to almost Nothing these few months.
My stress level had been a rollercoaster ride.
Often, I find myself urging to destroy. To set fire. To kill.
I'm afraid my charm and sanity won't hold up any much longer.
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Last Saturday night, had dinner with Clare, Desmond and JS. Nice to see them doing so well. Jealous of them.
Desmond suggested signing bond with StarHub. I could do that. But I need an income to pay for the house.
Fuck.
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Sometimes I wonder what would it be like if I continued studying. Then I realised I won't be able to afford studying anyway.
Fuck.
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He just asked me to help him with his income tax. Again. Year after year. Why can't he just learn do it himself? While he was talking to me, I realised that I do not want anything to do with him. Nothing at all.
I replied with "I'm busy". "I'm going to work".
He persisted.
"I don't want to help you".
He stood behind me. Silent.
I turned around without looking at him. "Didn't you heard me? I don't want to help you." I returned to my task.
He left my room.
I thought to myself, "Why aren't you dead yet?" Anybody who doen't even try to live should just die.
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Trying my best to keep my stress level in check.
With games, manga and anime. And ironically, my Chuunibyou lowering my stress level too.
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Recently, I got to know KYW better from work. We are not from the same company, but our job are similar. We've met each other often enough to call each other friend.
After talking to each other, I found that his life is mainly about work. No time in his life for hobbies. It maybe because he's such a nice guy. And nice guys usually deals with all the shit.
I pity him. He needs some work-life balance. But I don't think I'm in the position to advice him.
God bless him though, for being such a nice person.
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If anyone finds this blog, and can help me, please help me. My sanity is losing the war here.
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