My Future

21st Feb. 2017

I've been in a relationship with Cliff with slightly more than a year.

I swear this is the happiest I have ever been.

It's really a surprised that I didn't get any hate-mail or similar stuffs when I out-ed on Facebook.

Guess no one really gives a fuck anymore. Which is probably a good thing.

Anyway, I went to one of my NS buddies, ZX's wedding lunch, last Sunday.
It was beautiful.
They were together for 8-9 years. That is a long time given that people no longer care much about the sacredness of marriage.
Or relationships.
They looked so happy in each other arms. I'm slightly jealous.

Throughout the lunch, all I can see is their smiling faces, and me thinking if I ever could get married with Cliff.

I know it's a bit selfish of me to think about myself while attending others' wedding, but I couldn't help myself.

I want marry Cliff in the future. But I probably won't be able to show it proudly to the world.
Partly because of money.
Partly because I'm afraid of how people will bash us.
Even though I don't really care how people will view us, it still hurts when people can't accept who you are.

I want to have an awesome wedding some day as well.
But I probably can't with the HDB loan pulling me down.
And I probably can't with the society as it is.

It's not like I fucking wanted to choose this fucking path.

Aaron's wedding is in July and WX's wedding is in November.
I probably shouldn't go for Aaron's.
WX's is definitely a must.

Cheers.