Thinking

I know it's been a while since i wrote here.

Didn't have time. Didn't wanna write. Too tired to write. Didn't feel like writing.

Been thinking. I hate myself.
I hate myself for liking little boys.
I hate myself for liking men.
I hate myself for being me.

I don't know what to believe in anymore.
I can't even trust myself, how can i trust others?

I didn't want to do it. But yet I did.

I'm disgusted with myself.
I'm a homophobic, yet I'm homosexual.
Maybe I'm homosexual, maybe saying that I'm bisexual is just a way of escape.

I lost. I've (non)officially screwed up myself.

Hell.